Lee's Fundraising Letter 2008
December 2008
My Friends,
My name is Jon McPain. It’s true, on November 4th I conceded. I’m seventy-two years old and no longer in touch with the world. For over a decade I have sent out Christmas fundraising letters, Byzantine icons of cutting edge negativity. But now, as much as it pains me to say it, the post-nihilist position is passé. An insidious sludge of optimism poisons the very foundation that we stand upon. Barack has come along. Just mention Obama and people believe in “reality.” They weep openly in the streets!
Never again will I be able to stick my tongue in my cheek and ask for money. Never again can I kiss your ass with conviction. It’s over! Finis! Kaput! The whole world loves us now. I ask you – what goes first when the world loves you? YOUR SENSE OF HUMOR!
So go ahead, do it. Give your money to whatever charity rings your bell. I don’t care! I don’t care! Old showbiz fundraisers never die, they just say, “Screw it.”
And yet…and yet… I too have a dream. I dream that, at the nitty-gritty I was right all along. That fear, greed, and the deadly sins that brought us civilization will awaken from their brief Barackian hibernation and rear their ugly heads once more. I dream that you’ll read this letter, and your first instinct will be to go negative. “The Hubris!” you’ll snort. That you’ll be mad as hell and vow to go to any lengths to put me down where I belong - That it will come to blows - That you’ll slam your Good Book down on the table shouting - “Take That You Nihilist!” (and by Good Book, I mean your bankbook!) And just to make your point and drive it home, you’ll write Mabou Mines a big fat check.
I dream you’ll recall that change has been our watchword for thirty-eight years…. and now that change is on the way… Can’t we be thankful that we’ve been on message from the beginning? And speaking of change (loose change, that is), that’s where our Christmas fundraising plea comes in… Please send some…
Love,
jon mcpain for
Lee Ruth Sharon Julie Terry Fred
